new wheels, old pillow, future wings and some spacewalks

Last Saturday night I bought a bicycle!!!! It's a diamondback luster 1 hybrid bicycle. Riding around here is terrifying though. The NY drivers are psycho and there are no bike lanes and the sidewalks are super uneven and tiny. However it is nice biking to and from school, though I have to carry my bicycle up and down from the 3rd floor. Let's just say I'm going to be super uber fit by the end of the month.

Saturday afternoon we also had our internet hooked up in the apartment which is FANTASTIC! I get to utilize netflix again.  While the man was hooking it up I started on my newest baking project.

Every weekend I plan to bake a batch of something to take to school everyday for my mid morning break.

Last week I made sweet potato scones, this weekend I made a version of Black Horse's savory scone (my favorite) cheddar, leek and tomato scones. I have to admit though... they may not make it through the week. I just had one and I kind of want to eat them all right now.

Next week... either peanut butter muffins filled with strawberry jam in the middle or lemon yogurt cupcakes... haven't decided yet

buckling down, settling in and a search for a cure

Well, I have completed my first week of school, and it was completely overwhelming, terrifying, and fantastic. Week 2 has now begun.

my schedule is a lot crazy to say the least... I basically dance from 9am-8pm every day with maybe an hour for lunch or so. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to handle all of this physicality and I am concerned for the stress on my body. Every night I elevate my legs and feet for 10mins, I use my back roller and tennis balls for minimum 30 mins, I drink 1-2 liters of water a day, taking a daily vitamin, and eating as healthy as possible. So far so good, but this air mattress is taking a toll on my body for sure.

Before I go into that story I'll just give you an overview of my first week and give you a peek into the life of a graduate student dancer here at Sarah Lawrence (SLC).

I have class every day day starting at 9am, Most days I start with contemporary class with Gwen Welliver, who is beyond amazing! The class is so relaxing and invigorating, I learn so much from her and the other students. Gwen was a Doug Verone dancer for 10 years and also was the rehearsal director for Trisha Brown for many years. She is possibly one of the kindest, most supportive people I have ever met. She is very different from any technique I have encountered before, but she allows us to utilize other techniques while giving us new suggestions as well. I love that there is no right or wrong in her class (as long as you're not hurting yourself) just a sense of exploration on how to solve the problem presented to us and self learning from how each of us approach it with our own solution. 

I have 3 graduate seminars, which are the only classes with only grad students in them. Graduate Seminar 1 is our research/writing course where this semester we are discussing world dance. Graduate Seminar 2 is our choreography seminar where we can try out ideas and concepts on each other. Graduate Seminar 3 is a mix of anatomy and dance together.

As a first year student I also have to take Lighting design, Dance History, and Anatomy on top of dance making (choreography showcase), music seminar, composition, improv (I chose contact improv). Then I also decided to take teaching conference (might have been a stupid idea, possibly should have taken next year... oh well)

On top of all of my classes I also have 4 hours of personal studio time to work for myself, 4 hours of rehearsal for my own dance piece, 4 hours for Dawn's piece, and 3 hrs for Heather's piece. As well as a bi weekly meeting with the program director, bi weekly meeting with my music advisor, monthly dance  department meeting, and weekly classroom time for teaching conference (starting in Oct), and reading assignments and homework.

Basically my entire life for the next year is completely booked...

So my classes went well and I love all of my teachers, the grad students are so different and amazing.

Over the weekend I finally broke down and bought a bike so I don't have to rely on getting a ride or walking everyday. Which to me was a great relief. I even realized while riding the bike home that I kind of enjoyed it (yes that's right I will eat my words, bikes are not stupid but they are uncomfortable).


Next post will be on my bike day mattress debacle and a surprise...

How the Rain Soothes my Soul

It's been raining here in SLO for a couple days now and it makes me so happy. I know that sounds weird, but I love the rain it has always comforted me. I like to say the rain can wash away any problems or pain in my life. I've always loved the solace it brings, like a big fuzzy blanket from childhood.

I've been a little out of sorts and crazy in the head the last 2-3 weeks and I've had very little dance in my life to center me and make me feel better. So I've just been getting crabbier, antsier, and more agitated. I found myself snapping at people when I finally got to dance after my classes were over because I didn't know what was going on, and I felt out of the loop and stupid. I hate feeling stupid more than anything in the world.

Saturday morning before leaving for Berkeley I had a good, long, solid rehearsal for a piece that I was SO lost in. I learned the piece and began to feel the undercurrent of the piece not just "oh shit what comes next!" It was so nice not to feel lost in a sea of unknown movement and to settle into it a little.

Last night we rehearsed the piece a little more and when I arrived I could quickly grasp what they had already been working on, learned a bunch of new material and felt immediately good in it (except the beginning of that damned coat phrase! haha). I was laughing and making jokes again... it felt natural and I was reminded of why I love dance so much.

This morning I'm attempting to finish up some reading for my meetings and classes today, however I am more focused on the sound of the soothing rain mixed with Arcade Fire's The Suburbs swirling in the air around my head and I keep getting lost in the movement in my head. I'm dancing away to a far away place that is so joyful, that I have a hard time returning to the world of financial decisions and simulation guidelines.

Can I just graduate now? I'm ready to go to grad school and eat, sleep and breathe dance...

I found this video from the show at Berkeley, just to think I was right there in the pit right in front of the guitarist on stage right (left side of the screen)

Surrealism part 2

All of these photos were taken from my crappy little phone so the quality is not ideal but I don't care it shows where I was and what I love. (Arcade Fire in Berkeley Oct 2, 2010)

Greek Theater :

Calexico opened

Arcade Fire's Entrance
Ready to Start! first song of the night

They are so epic

No Cars Go (I loved the background on the screen for this one)

This was the last song of the regular set: Rebellion, which is my favorite song, Win came right in front of me... I almost died. He really is larger than life

That's all the photos I got because I wanted to focus on the concert not taking photos and video and everything else. I wanted the proof of my being there to be the memory and feelings that I will keep forever in my heart (cheesey I know but deal with it)

Surrealism in real life

last night I was in the pit at Berkeley's Greek Theater for the Arcade Fire Concert. I don't have words to explain how amazing the concert was; mind blowing, life changing, surreal are as close as I can get however even they don't suffice for the feelings I had for that short time.

How I've been trying to explain it is: Nothing in the world has EVER matched how I feel when I dance. Nothing has even come close... until last night. Seeing Arcade Fire from the pit in person was the only thing to ever make me feel that much, and make me that in the moment and true.

this is a terrible description but that's the closest I can get

here is video from this tour at Madison Square Gardens of the final song of the encore... nothing can top standing and singing with thousands of people to this song

My Revelation of Sinner men

I LOVE this section of Ailey's Revelations it's called Sinner Man.

it is a great example of Horton Technique, Ailey style, and the most amazing male dancers

it's a short section but so very very powerful

Rite of Spring

sometimes (often) I feel like the sacrificial virgin here... I think that's why I keep coming back to this piece and why I love it so much

there is something so emotionally honest about this final section of Pina Bausch's version of Rite of Spring by Stravinsky. It is so earthy and raw... nothing to hide, all her cards are on the table

warning there is partial nudity in this clip (upper torso of a female to be precise)

you can see all of this version on youtube and I highly recommend it

A Time for Everything...

well my time teaching has come to an end, at least for a couple months while I focus on School. It's my senior year at Poly and I only have 8 class, equalling 2 quarters left. One of my classes this quarter conflicts with dance class (I'll arrive a little late to rehearsal this fall)

It pains me to have to give up dance time for school but I just have to remind myself it is only a little longer than I can focus on dance for the rest of my life, or for however long it makes me happy to do so.

Tuesday September 14th was the 3rd week in a row for me to teach and to work on this phrase. It has transformed greatly from a couple of awkward trees swaying in the breeze to a true forest full of critters, grass, trees and wind. I still need to work on the components and really refine and complete the movement.

here is 2 runs in a row with me in them

Beginning Combo 9-14-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

here is 2 of the dancers alone

Beginning Combo * dancers only 9-14-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

Compare to

week 1
week 2


after that I asked if I could use my 3 lovely ladies Mac, Caren and Kathy as guinea pigs and play with some ideas I have for the final piece.

I worked with layer, level and dynamic, here is the result:


(video on the way)

That called to an end my short stint teaching the beginning modern class. I'm hoping to guest teach at Nipomo a couple of times later in the quarter and year and when December/January rolls around I will hopefully be back in rotation for teaching at VV. So never fear this is not the end of Movement Tronic... there is always more! Seriously my head is a never ending abyss of dance crazy.

The trees have evolved!

So as I said I scrapped most of last weeks phrase and started again... this time using Zoe Keating music like I want for the Nipomo dance.

I kept with my forest theme in the piece and still didn't get to finish the phrase so next week look for more changes and additions!

here it is

Beginning Combo 9-7-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

Beginning Combo *Dancers only* 9-7-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

Board Dancing

try dancing on a board!

this video is SO @)!@*#$*$(#$**%#$ AMAZING!!!!!!! It's literally dancing on a skateboard and so beyond cool I can't even put it into words.

just watch for yourself

I like being a tree in your odd little forest

Tuesday Aug 31 I taught the Beginning Modern class for Variable Velocity. On Tuesday I was thinking about the class and that I wanted to use it to work on ideas and play around with material for Nipomo High School.

I know that I am interested in the idea of layers, levels, and as usual dynamic opposition. That led me to the idea of a forest and the layers of a natural forest with tall trees, bushes, grasses, critters, the wind, etc all working together to create this environment with so much life, energy and movement.

I am considering using this Zoe Keating song because I only get 3-4 mins to show a complete thought which is very difficult (think about taking gone with the wind and condensing it to a paragraph)

However as I started thinking about the movement I found myself very stuck... I had choreographers block. I couldn't shake it my body wouldn't flow, my mind wouldn't open, and for the life of me I couldn't visualize anything.

So I went for a walk, possibly the best thing I could do. I went out I found some trees, the wind was mighty that day and the sun was bright. I breathed the air and soaked in the sun and had this Balmorhea song on repeat on my ipod. I had found the music but not the story yet.

It took me almost 3 hours to bang out some semblance of a phrase... that frankly I'm not a huge fan of and I plan on scrapping 90% of it. There are bits of it that I like and lots that I don't but that is the nice part of setting the movement on these dancers before the Nipomo kids. If Mac, Caren and I can't make it work, then no one can.

So here is the phrase that consists of all forest things, starts with grass then trees and moves to wind and critters and those bushes and ends with a falling leaf.

take a look, tell me what you think, and look for a drastic change next tuesday!

VV Beginning combo 8-31-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

The dancers are rock stars working so hard to make this look and feel decent. I had no specific timing or counts and no real definite structure to movement quality.

VV Beginning Combo *dancers only* 8-31-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

Jumprush: the play by play

(photo curtesy of Jumpbrush, centerpieces I made with Tanya)

For me Jumpbrush was more than a fun dance intensive I was taking part of, it was a weekend of opportunity and experiences. I wanted to get absolutely everything I possibly could out of Jumpbrush and I, in many respects, sacrificed things a normal person would never give up to do so. I know I can come off as cold and less than inviting to the average person (and to my friends and family) because I will always put dance first. I made the decision, without realizing it in many ways, to choose dance over the people I care for. I don't take that back and I definitely don't regret it, but I understand that it can make an enemy out of me to those around.

The actual events of Jumpbrush were eye opening for me. I have taken huge intensives before with choreographers from across the country and world before but not as an Adult (yes that required a capital A) and not as a dancer looking at a career in professional dance. I am a perfectionist and my hardest critic which makes me a good dancer, I never give up and always want to find more. Which is why it was good to start with Jude, she calms me and teaches me more about my body and spirit that I would never have learned otherwise. Jude is like my spirit guide in many ways, I know when I'm around her to just shut up and listen and my answers will come.

Next was tech which involved my first experience with the PAC stage... wow, that stage is like a punch in the chest. It knocks the wind out of you and makes your body feel so small and insignificant. Therefore my challenge was to make my tiny frame fill every ounce of the space around me. I wanted to command the stage and ooze into every crevice of the audience.

(photo curtesy of Jumpbrush of VV tech)

I failed... at least for my first time in the space. I felt like a drowning rat, then a cat in water, then maybe a dog, and finally a frog... not graceful but not dead or drowning.

Next was Swany's class which was my first Jazz class since 10th grade (that was 5 years ago... holy shit!) I loved his class and the combo was badass to say the least... however I have a BIG bone to pick with the way he conducts the class. It became an audition, not a master class. I understand pointing out and clarifying the things you like, but the last 20 mins of class should not be dedicated to the 6 people out of 25 that you like the best and only letting them perform the combo. Personally I was not one of his top picks but I did get chosen for a couple of the small groups. I don't really care if he likes me I just had to remind myself "this isn't an audition and I don't need a job just to do MY best." I could visually see the people around me having their moods change though. I still respect Swany and I admire his work and I would consider auditioning for him in a few years but that left a bad taste in my mouth and I know that not everyone took it as neutrally as me.

Thank goodness for Angie to bring back the joy in the next class. She teaches traditional modern dance in many ways, Limon technique etc. I enjoyed pushing myself and seeing how precise and clear I could be and really MOVE. After the class we chatted and I got her card because I know she will be a great help in my search for Grad school. She lifted mine and many other's spirits.

Next I went to Composition with KT, possibly my favorite part of the entire weekend other than performing. I wish the class had been much, much longer. I love composition and creating work. The phrase she taught us was unusual and quirky, then adding my own quirk to it and creating a whole new phrase was beyond rewarding. I loved my phrase and when I found out I was got to work with Harmony I was double excited. We created a piece together that in my opinion was ready for the stage. It felt good to do and was dynamic and interesting.

(photo curtesy of Jumpbrush of Harmony and I performing our phrase with another pair)

After comp we all ran to the pavillion for a Convergence rehearsal. Convergence was the final piece of the Finale show. It consisted of all of the companies and teachers "converging" for the first time. It was a structured improv dance that, to be honest, was in no way an improv just structure. However it turned out beautiful and was an event.

The last official part of the day was the Moving Mural. The idea was for the dancers to completely circle the Cohan Center in a structured improv (a real one) with the help of live musicians. It was a fun way to just clear your brain and de-stress from the day. To quote my friend Leslie the moving mural was "Oh getting-out-of-one's-head happiness!"

The best part was the media coverage, I actually made the cover of the SLO City News (pictured below) from the moving mural!

After the Mural there was Salsa dancing (like every Friday at Cal Poly) Brittany, Megan and I decided dinner and a bath was a much better idea. We headed to Natural Cafe in downtown SLO and grabbed some nutritious and filling food for our tired bodies. Then it was bath time! I don't have a bath tub in my hipster house, but megan's place has 2 bathrooms and her roommates are currently not living there, so I borrowed her spare bathtub. It was wonderful a long bath with music and epsom salt followed by a lot of arnica.

DAY 2

Day 2 began with me oversleeping and not making it to Ryan Beck's Yoga class... which was probably a good thing since I was performing that night and my body needed rest. My first class was Drew's contemporary jazz class which I was really excited for. I've never met Drew or taken his class before this weekend but I have always heard a lot about him.

His class was fantastic! I had a lot of fun and felt like it could have been longer.

(photo Curtesy of Jumpbrush: Me in Drew Silvaggio's class)

After that it was time for Diana's Bollywood class. My body was sooooo sore and to be honest I was in a fair bit of pain. This physical condition caused Diana's class to be a bit rougher than usual for me. However the class was rockin and I was so excited to be there and represent VV.

During lunch we had the final rehearsal for Convergence and my final time to adjust to the PAC stage. I needed that! After we converged and became slightly comfortable in the space with the piece it was time to move on. For me that meant home to pack and prep.

I decided to skip my afternoon classes in order to get everything done I needed to and to save my body for the performance that night. I went home, packed for Idaho, cleaned my dirty dishes (a week gone with a sink full of gross dishes wasn't going to happen), pack and prep my stuff for the show that night, pack a "dinner" etc...

I made it back to the theater with time to go and observe KT's comp class, which was really interesting since that class did things mine did not.

After that VV met to run both our dances for the show that night before the warm up.

While we ran our dances Daniel and KT from ODC watched, to be honest I should have marked it more than I did but I wanted to impress them. By this point my body wasn't in so much pain and moving around a lot helped so very much!

Next up was warm up! The ballet dancers and modern dancers all warmed up separately, we were in the pavilion and I believe the ballet warm up was in Spanos. KT led our warm up with Daniel's assistance which was one of the best warm up's I've had in a while. I LOVED it! It was reminiscent of the warm ups Leah gave before Balance shows.

After warm up we got in to costume and did hair and make up, which was a little more intense that our normal because the PAC is so large.

(photo curtesy of Jumpbrush: Variable Velocity receives notes after Tech )

we slowly migrated to the hallway to jump around a bit and shake off some nerves. Then it was go time and as we say "I'll see you on the other side"

Daedal went ridiculously well. I didn't feel like a drowning rat (ok there might have been a holy shit moment) and I felt big on a little stage, not little on a big stage. I'm not necessarily the tallest or biggest person you will meet but I try very hard to dance big and move larger than life. That way I'm always pushing myself to project more and fulfill the movements to my greatest extent.

After intermission we had Viscera, again pre dance jump around the hallway, wake the body back up, say hello to my sore muscles and beg them for just 5 more minutes of hard work.

Viscera went swimmingly! It was a lot of fun... which is why I love VV. I work so hard at dance and I put all of my effort into it, from rehearsing for hours several days a week, conditioning on my days off, watching what I eat (less cheetos more fruits and veggies etc), giving up alcohol for weeks and months at a time (it's hard hanging out with friends when they just want to play drinking games or go to the bars during your only time off). When I perform dances with VV I feel a kind of joy that I get no where else in my life, the people around me are my family and the work I do is a miracle to me.

Someone said during a speech at Jumpbrush that there was happy, then there was Dance Happy... I know exactly what they mean.

After the performance was the dance party where I found my new friends from the noodle house, Paul and Patrick, as well as old friends and Variable dancers. It was so nice to be around so many people and hearing such great things from random strangers about the show (ok I eavesdropped a little, sue me!).

If anyone reads this and took part in Jumpbrush in any capacity please leave a comment with your thoughts on the event! I'd greatly love to hear what other people experienced and thought about everything!

Again these are all my personal opinion and in no way related to Cal Poly, Jumpbrush or anyone else involved so if you don't like what I wrote tell me directly (below in comments is best)

I LOVE DANCE!

For more info on Jumpbrush see my previous post as well as their:

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It's like Red Wine and Coke!

Trey McIntyre Project which is based out of Boise created a piece for the HUGE Basque festival in Boise called Jaialdi. Jaialdi only happens every 5 years and this was the 50th anniversary of the festival. They estimated that 30,000-50,000 people from all over the world travelled to Boise for Jaialdi.

As a Basque and Basque dancer this is a big deal to say the least. Unfortunately I was not able to go (insert much sadness) so I had to live through my friends and family calling me to tell me stories and photos posted on facebook. Its just not the same damn it!

Anyways back to the point, Trey McIntyre created an AMAZING piece inspired by Basque dance which premiered at the Festara during Jaialdi. Basically Trey took my two worlds and melded them together in a way I could only dream of. (read a review of the piece Boise Weekly and New York Times)

In a way I'm jealous because I have always wanted to create a modern dance piece based on traditional Basque dance. In every piece I have ever made there are hints to my Basque dancing past. I have a strong tie to my Basque roots and in San Luis Obispo I feel like one of three Basques in a 500 mile radius. This is really hard sometimes since I come from a strong community of Basques. I miss going down to the block and hearing Basque music, eating Basque food, dancing on Sundays with the Oinkaris, and just being with my HUGE extended family, because lets face it, if you're Basque then you're probably related.

I miss my Basque life, but I'm learning to embrace it and allow it to help me remember where I come from. All I need in life is a kalimotxo, lamb stew, and a jota... then it feels like my family is with me, even if for a moment.

Here is a clip of the making of Arrantza (courtesy Trey McIntyre Project's blog *who as I went to get this link, posted a blog about Jaialdi!*):

A Shift of Energy

Week 3 baby!

Ok so this tuesday (yesterday July 27) I taught the Variable Velocity beginning modern dance class. There were only 3 students this week and 2 are Variable dancers so I decided for the warm up I would un-structure it and go for more of a one on one detailed warm up. Since it is so rare to get really specific instruction on things like different types of roll downs.

I also wanted to teach the same combo to the students however I wanted to change it up a bit. So I changed the music and overall tone of the piece.

here is me doing the original version to the Chase McBride music

July dance combo from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

I changed the music to a song I have been unhealthily obsessed with

Crystal Castles "Empathy"

here is 2 runs in a row of the combo with me in it (it was really fast and tough)

Beginning Modern Combo week 3 (7-27-10) from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

Then I had the dancers take the movement and not think about timing or the order and just go, here's what happened

Beginning Modern Dance *Dancers only week 3 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

I love seeing the differences between the the two versions. The movement is exactly the same, the only difference is the timing and dynamics. Gah! fascinating, this is the core of my work (at this stage in my life) and I love seeing how movement can change so much with little differences.

compare this week to

Week 1

Week 2

tonight Mee Heng Low Noodle House with Tanya, it's Jazz night which is my favorite

That one hurt a little, that one hurt a bit more... ok that one hurt a lot!

What a week. I 'm still wondering wtf happened and how. My head is in a tail spin to say the least I'm torn between laughing and crying every moment. However laughter always seems to prevail (I'm not much of a crier)

I taught Variable Velocity class again this Tuesday! and it was AWESOME I love teaching soooo much. There were 7 dancers, only 2 from last week, so I re-taught the same class essentially. It was great to see how the 2 who have done the phrase before progressed and how those new to my way of working approached the challenge.

Here is a taste from class (I didn't like any of the videos I was in so I'm only showing the one with the dancers)

Beginning Modern Dance combo week 2 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

They are fantastic!

(music by Chase McBride)

Tuesday night and all day Wednesday I was SUPER sick with a virus or something so I ended up not going to the last day of classes for summer school and sleeping, since I couldn't move or walk really.

Thursday I took a final from 10-12 studied from 12-4 took the second final from 4-6 and then went home and ate soup and tried not to pass out or die from a massive headache (imagine being repeatedly hit in the head with a baseball bat). I decided it would be better not to go to dance that night and Diana agreed. However it turns out afterwards Jude went to the Hospital with some strange something I still don't understand, Transient Global Amnesia. I still don't know what that means. Then this morning, Friday, I get to work about to head out to the fair and I receive a broken 8 part text from Diana and I freak out because I don't know what to do and I can't leave work to go to the hospital though I desperately want to.

I guess I feel like I've failed since I couldn't or wouldn't be there for Jude, which brings back a lot of painful memories from my past, and past regret that I can't change no matter how hard I try.

Then there is the fact that I was supposed to be in SF this weekend for the Dead Weather show but decided not to go because of finals and my new job ( I could have gotten out of both but it would have been a lot of effort and a small lie which I don't do).

It's been a tough week and I just keep wondering about my life choices and the sacrifices I make... and specifically if they're worth it. Lately I'm not so sure.

Beginning Modern Center combo

Last night I taught the beginning modern dance class for Variable Velocity. After a short crisis of identity last week, it felt so good to teach and the dancers are AMAZING in the class. To be cliche I felt extremely fulfilled just to be there and to teach and of course to witness them perform the phrase. The phrase was based on the idea of opposition and dynamics.

I added video with both myself in it and just the dancers, as a typical choreographer I actually prefer the video without me in it. I was breathless watching it and I'm really excited to teach it again next tuesday.

I LOVE DANCE (sorry, I felt that was necessary)

Music by Chase McBride "Wild Child"

VV class combo dancers only from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

VV beginning class combo from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

MovementTronic: Chertudi Dance

the beginning of a new phase of life... a dance company all my own