That one hurt a little, that one hurt a bit more... ok that one hurt a lot!

What a week. I 'm still wondering wtf happened and how. My head is in a tail spin to say the least I'm torn between laughing and crying every moment. However laughter always seems to prevail (I'm not much of a crier)

I taught Variable Velocity class again this Tuesday! and it was AWESOME I love teaching soooo much. There were 7 dancers, only 2 from last week, so I re-taught the same class essentially. It was great to see how the 2 who have done the phrase before progressed and how those new to my way of working approached the challenge.

Here is a taste from class (I didn't like any of the videos I was in so I'm only showing the one with the dancers)

Beginning Modern Dance combo week 2 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

They are fantastic!

(music by Chase McBride)

Tuesday night and all day Wednesday I was SUPER sick with a virus or something so I ended up not going to the last day of classes for summer school and sleeping, since I couldn't move or walk really.

Thursday I took a final from 10-12 studied from 12-4 took the second final from 4-6 and then went home and ate soup and tried not to pass out or die from a massive headache (imagine being repeatedly hit in the head with a baseball bat). I decided it would be better not to go to dance that night and Diana agreed. However it turns out afterwards Jude went to the Hospital with some strange something I still don't understand, Transient Global Amnesia. I still don't know what that means. Then this morning, Friday, I get to work about to head out to the fair and I receive a broken 8 part text from Diana and I freak out because I don't know what to do and I can't leave work to go to the hospital though I desperately want to.

I guess I feel like I've failed since I couldn't or wouldn't be there for Jude, which brings back a lot of painful memories from my past, and past regret that I can't change no matter how hard I try.

Then there is the fact that I was supposed to be in SF this weekend for the Dead Weather show but decided not to go because of finals and my new job ( I could have gotten out of both but it would have been a lot of effort and a small lie which I don't do).

It's been a tough week and I just keep wondering about my life choices and the sacrifices I make... and specifically if they're worth it. Lately I'm not so sure.