The leaves begin to change and I'm thinking about my eyeballs

This week has been such a change from last week, it's almost hard to believe. I had an amazing meeting with the program director, Sara Rudner, monday. I talked to her about my stuckness in my choreography and she helped me think through ideas and now I have so many ideas they are bursting to be worked on. I also talked to her about my tendency to over think things and panic. She gave me tips on how to not censor myself and to take the time I need when I start to panic. She also talked to me about my dancing and that I'm doing really well and that I could be even better if I start incorporating more of focus into my work. So this has been the week of the eyeball.

Tuesday I have a graduate seminar based on exploration and experimentation in movement with a anatomical support. So I spent 2 hours initiating movement with my eyeballs and making sure I was really using them and seeing things around me as I dance. It was insanely hard and made me slightly nauseous, but so worth it. The next day in my contemporary class while we furthered the combinations from monday I started to add in the concept of focus to my work. It was amazing how different everything felt with such a slight change of thinking about head placement and what I'm looking at.

From this work I FINALLY got some feedback and comments from my teacher. I've been so worked up over the fact I never seem to get much attention or comments (negative or positive). It was like it lifted a burden from my shoulders and I felt like in 1 class my dancing changed for the better more than it has in a long while. I think it's one of those things where I work as hard as I physically, mentally and emotionally can in order be my best; and when your best incites nothing from those around you it feels as though you've worked for nothing. Which is the wrong way to think, but I am a performer and I am practicing how to perform.


On a completely different note, I leave for California TOMORROW! (Exactly 24 hrs from when I'm typing this sentence) I am soooooooo excited I wish I could explain it. I can't wait to see Ross and tell him about my dance and get his input on my ideas. I can't wait for dinner and Dexter with Caren and Kiel. I can't wait to go to Linnaea's and work on my research paper. I can't wait for sunshine and warmth and love and good food and just to be HOME.

When I got home from school today I immediately started packing and put in my California playlist:

buckling down, settling in and a search for a cure

Well, I have completed my first week of school, and it was completely overwhelming, terrifying, and fantastic. Week 2 has now begun.

my schedule is a lot crazy to say the least... I basically dance from 9am-8pm every day with maybe an hour for lunch or so. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to handle all of this physicality and I am concerned for the stress on my body. Every night I elevate my legs and feet for 10mins, I use my back roller and tennis balls for minimum 30 mins, I drink 1-2 liters of water a day, taking a daily vitamin, and eating as healthy as possible. So far so good, but this air mattress is taking a toll on my body for sure.

Before I go into that story I'll just give you an overview of my first week and give you a peek into the life of a graduate student dancer here at Sarah Lawrence (SLC).

I have class every day day starting at 9am, Most days I start with contemporary class with Gwen Welliver, who is beyond amazing! The class is so relaxing and invigorating, I learn so much from her and the other students. Gwen was a Doug Verone dancer for 10 years and also was the rehearsal director for Trisha Brown for many years. She is possibly one of the kindest, most supportive people I have ever met. She is very different from any technique I have encountered before, but she allows us to utilize other techniques while giving us new suggestions as well. I love that there is no right or wrong in her class (as long as you're not hurting yourself) just a sense of exploration on how to solve the problem presented to us and self learning from how each of us approach it with our own solution. 

I have 3 graduate seminars, which are the only classes with only grad students in them. Graduate Seminar 1 is our research/writing course where this semester we are discussing world dance. Graduate Seminar 2 is our choreography seminar where we can try out ideas and concepts on each other. Graduate Seminar 3 is a mix of anatomy and dance together.

As a first year student I also have to take Lighting design, Dance History, and Anatomy on top of dance making (choreography showcase), music seminar, composition, improv (I chose contact improv). Then I also decided to take teaching conference (might have been a stupid idea, possibly should have taken next year... oh well)

On top of all of my classes I also have 4 hours of personal studio time to work for myself, 4 hours of rehearsal for my own dance piece, 4 hours for Dawn's piece, and 3 hrs for Heather's piece. As well as a bi weekly meeting with the program director, bi weekly meeting with my music advisor, monthly dance  department meeting, and weekly classroom time for teaching conference (starting in Oct), and reading assignments and homework.

Basically my entire life for the next year is completely booked...

So my classes went well and I love all of my teachers, the grad students are so different and amazing.

Over the weekend I finally broke down and bought a bike so I don't have to rely on getting a ride or walking everyday. Which to me was a great relief. I even realized while riding the bike home that I kind of enjoyed it (yes that's right I will eat my words, bikes are not stupid but they are uncomfortable).


Next post will be on my bike day mattress debacle and a surprise...

Update

very super quick update!

1. I was asked to audition for Sarah Lawrence in Feb... I went
2. I was accepted to Sarah Lawrence for their graduate prgram in dance
3. I graduated from CalPoly
4. I choreographed a piece for Nipomo High School's show
5. I am moving to NY in a month
6. I created a piece for a friend to be performed at his church after he came to my class
7. He performed the piece with my friend Leslie

8. I went to Tahoe with friends and filmed around a river near Auburn to make a backdrop for a dance
9. need to find music for that dance
10. I need to actually update this more... sorry

HELLO!

It's been awhile since I have experienced free time. To be honest I still don't have any. School crushed me this fall, I gave up sleep, food, and personal life but I succeeded and passed all my classes with a respectable grade.

The second finals ended in December I immediately began my application to Sarah Lawrence Graduate Studies for dance... yes dance! That has taken up that last month of my life.

I post it tomorrow! GAH

For the application I had to write 3 essays, create a technique video, a solo video, and any additional materials (i.e. choreography clips). I am a perfectionist and I have been stressing out over this application like none other.

soooo I will post my 3 essays and the solo video on here

also I am teaching again for VV starting next week! so look for class videos soon!

I am a dance addict

gone webby!

I have a new website as part of my senior project work, don't worry this is still my main page and place of work.

But to watch the progress check this out!

http://www.wix.com/laurenchertudi/chertudidance

How the Rain Soothes my Soul

It's been raining here in SLO for a couple days now and it makes me so happy. I know that sounds weird, but I love the rain it has always comforted me. I like to say the rain can wash away any problems or pain in my life. I've always loved the solace it brings, like a big fuzzy blanket from childhood.

I've been a little out of sorts and crazy in the head the last 2-3 weeks and I've had very little dance in my life to center me and make me feel better. So I've just been getting crabbier, antsier, and more agitated. I found myself snapping at people when I finally got to dance after my classes were over because I didn't know what was going on, and I felt out of the loop and stupid. I hate feeling stupid more than anything in the world.

Saturday morning before leaving for Berkeley I had a good, long, solid rehearsal for a piece that I was SO lost in. I learned the piece and began to feel the undercurrent of the piece not just "oh shit what comes next!" It was so nice not to feel lost in a sea of unknown movement and to settle into it a little.

Last night we rehearsed the piece a little more and when I arrived I could quickly grasp what they had already been working on, learned a bunch of new material and felt immediately good in it (except the beginning of that damned coat phrase! haha). I was laughing and making jokes again... it felt natural and I was reminded of why I love dance so much.

This morning I'm attempting to finish up some reading for my meetings and classes today, however I am more focused on the sound of the soothing rain mixed with Arcade Fire's The Suburbs swirling in the air around my head and I keep getting lost in the movement in my head. I'm dancing away to a far away place that is so joyful, that I have a hard time returning to the world of financial decisions and simulation guidelines.

Can I just graduate now? I'm ready to go to grad school and eat, sleep and breathe dance...

I found this video from the show at Berkeley, just to think I was right there in the pit right in front of the guitarist on stage right (left side of the screen)

dance for thought

I think it helped she was wearing BSU colors at camel's back park

A Time for Everything...

well my time teaching has come to an end, at least for a couple months while I focus on School. It's my senior year at Poly and I only have 8 class, equalling 2 quarters left. One of my classes this quarter conflicts with dance class (I'll arrive a little late to rehearsal this fall)

It pains me to have to give up dance time for school but I just have to remind myself it is only a little longer than I can focus on dance for the rest of my life, or for however long it makes me happy to do so.

Tuesday September 14th was the 3rd week in a row for me to teach and to work on this phrase. It has transformed greatly from a couple of awkward trees swaying in the breeze to a true forest full of critters, grass, trees and wind. I still need to work on the components and really refine and complete the movement.

here is 2 runs in a row with me in them

Beginning Combo 9-14-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

here is 2 of the dancers alone

Beginning Combo * dancers only 9-14-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

Compare to

week 1
week 2


after that I asked if I could use my 3 lovely ladies Mac, Caren and Kathy as guinea pigs and play with some ideas I have for the final piece.

I worked with layer, level and dynamic, here is the result:


(video on the way)

That called to an end my short stint teaching the beginning modern class. I'm hoping to guest teach at Nipomo a couple of times later in the quarter and year and when December/January rolls around I will hopefully be back in rotation for teaching at VV. So never fear this is not the end of Movement Tronic... there is always more! Seriously my head is a never ending abyss of dance crazy.

The trees have evolved!

So as I said I scrapped most of last weeks phrase and started again... this time using Zoe Keating music like I want for the Nipomo dance.

I kept with my forest theme in the piece and still didn't get to finish the phrase so next week look for more changes and additions!

here it is

Beginning Combo 9-7-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

Beginning Combo *Dancers only* 9-7-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

Board Dancing

try dancing on a board!

this video is SO @)!@*#$*$(#$**%#$ AMAZING!!!!!!! It's literally dancing on a skateboard and so beyond cool I can't even put it into words.

just watch for yourself

I like being a tree in your odd little forest

Tuesday Aug 31 I taught the Beginning Modern class for Variable Velocity. On Tuesday I was thinking about the class and that I wanted to use it to work on ideas and play around with material for Nipomo High School.

I know that I am interested in the idea of layers, levels, and as usual dynamic opposition. That led me to the idea of a forest and the layers of a natural forest with tall trees, bushes, grasses, critters, the wind, etc all working together to create this environment with so much life, energy and movement.

I am considering using this Zoe Keating song because I only get 3-4 mins to show a complete thought which is very difficult (think about taking gone with the wind and condensing it to a paragraph)

However as I started thinking about the movement I found myself very stuck... I had choreographers block. I couldn't shake it my body wouldn't flow, my mind wouldn't open, and for the life of me I couldn't visualize anything.

So I went for a walk, possibly the best thing I could do. I went out I found some trees, the wind was mighty that day and the sun was bright. I breathed the air and soaked in the sun and had this Balmorhea song on repeat on my ipod. I had found the music but not the story yet.

It took me almost 3 hours to bang out some semblance of a phrase... that frankly I'm not a huge fan of and I plan on scrapping 90% of it. There are bits of it that I like and lots that I don't but that is the nice part of setting the movement on these dancers before the Nipomo kids. If Mac, Caren and I can't make it work, then no one can.

So here is the phrase that consists of all forest things, starts with grass then trees and moves to wind and critters and those bushes and ends with a falling leaf.

take a look, tell me what you think, and look for a drastic change next tuesday!

VV Beginning combo 8-31-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

The dancers are rock stars working so hard to make this look and feel decent. I had no specific timing or counts and no real definite structure to movement quality.

VV Beginning Combo *dancers only* 8-31-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

Jumprush: the play by play

(photo curtesy of Jumpbrush, centerpieces I made with Tanya)

For me Jumpbrush was more than a fun dance intensive I was taking part of, it was a weekend of opportunity and experiences. I wanted to get absolutely everything I possibly could out of Jumpbrush and I, in many respects, sacrificed things a normal person would never give up to do so. I know I can come off as cold and less than inviting to the average person (and to my friends and family) because I will always put dance first. I made the decision, without realizing it in many ways, to choose dance over the people I care for. I don't take that back and I definitely don't regret it, but I understand that it can make an enemy out of me to those around.

The actual events of Jumpbrush were eye opening for me. I have taken huge intensives before with choreographers from across the country and world before but not as an Adult (yes that required a capital A) and not as a dancer looking at a career in professional dance. I am a perfectionist and my hardest critic which makes me a good dancer, I never give up and always want to find more. Which is why it was good to start with Jude, she calms me and teaches me more about my body and spirit that I would never have learned otherwise. Jude is like my spirit guide in many ways, I know when I'm around her to just shut up and listen and my answers will come.

Next was tech which involved my first experience with the PAC stage... wow, that stage is like a punch in the chest. It knocks the wind out of you and makes your body feel so small and insignificant. Therefore my challenge was to make my tiny frame fill every ounce of the space around me. I wanted to command the stage and ooze into every crevice of the audience.

(photo curtesy of Jumpbrush of VV tech)

I failed... at least for my first time in the space. I felt like a drowning rat, then a cat in water, then maybe a dog, and finally a frog... not graceful but not dead or drowning.

Next was Swany's class which was my first Jazz class since 10th grade (that was 5 years ago... holy shit!) I loved his class and the combo was badass to say the least... however I have a BIG bone to pick with the way he conducts the class. It became an audition, not a master class. I understand pointing out and clarifying the things you like, but the last 20 mins of class should not be dedicated to the 6 people out of 25 that you like the best and only letting them perform the combo. Personally I was not one of his top picks but I did get chosen for a couple of the small groups. I don't really care if he likes me I just had to remind myself "this isn't an audition and I don't need a job just to do MY best." I could visually see the people around me having their moods change though. I still respect Swany and I admire his work and I would consider auditioning for him in a few years but that left a bad taste in my mouth and I know that not everyone took it as neutrally as me.

Thank goodness for Angie to bring back the joy in the next class. She teaches traditional modern dance in many ways, Limon technique etc. I enjoyed pushing myself and seeing how precise and clear I could be and really MOVE. After the class we chatted and I got her card because I know she will be a great help in my search for Grad school. She lifted mine and many other's spirits.

Next I went to Composition with KT, possibly my favorite part of the entire weekend other than performing. I wish the class had been much, much longer. I love composition and creating work. The phrase she taught us was unusual and quirky, then adding my own quirk to it and creating a whole new phrase was beyond rewarding. I loved my phrase and when I found out I was got to work with Harmony I was double excited. We created a piece together that in my opinion was ready for the stage. It felt good to do and was dynamic and interesting.

(photo curtesy of Jumpbrush of Harmony and I performing our phrase with another pair)

After comp we all ran to the pavillion for a Convergence rehearsal. Convergence was the final piece of the Finale show. It consisted of all of the companies and teachers "converging" for the first time. It was a structured improv dance that, to be honest, was in no way an improv just structure. However it turned out beautiful and was an event.

The last official part of the day was the Moving Mural. The idea was for the dancers to completely circle the Cohan Center in a structured improv (a real one) with the help of live musicians. It was a fun way to just clear your brain and de-stress from the day. To quote my friend Leslie the moving mural was "Oh getting-out-of-one's-head happiness!"

The best part was the media coverage, I actually made the cover of the SLO City News (pictured below) from the moving mural!

After the Mural there was Salsa dancing (like every Friday at Cal Poly) Brittany, Megan and I decided dinner and a bath was a much better idea. We headed to Natural Cafe in downtown SLO and grabbed some nutritious and filling food for our tired bodies. Then it was bath time! I don't have a bath tub in my hipster house, but megan's place has 2 bathrooms and her roommates are currently not living there, so I borrowed her spare bathtub. It was wonderful a long bath with music and epsom salt followed by a lot of arnica.

DAY 2

Day 2 began with me oversleeping and not making it to Ryan Beck's Yoga class... which was probably a good thing since I was performing that night and my body needed rest. My first class was Drew's contemporary jazz class which I was really excited for. I've never met Drew or taken his class before this weekend but I have always heard a lot about him.

His class was fantastic! I had a lot of fun and felt like it could have been longer.

(photo Curtesy of Jumpbrush: Me in Drew Silvaggio's class)

After that it was time for Diana's Bollywood class. My body was sooooo sore and to be honest I was in a fair bit of pain. This physical condition caused Diana's class to be a bit rougher than usual for me. However the class was rockin and I was so excited to be there and represent VV.

During lunch we had the final rehearsal for Convergence and my final time to adjust to the PAC stage. I needed that! After we converged and became slightly comfortable in the space with the piece it was time to move on. For me that meant home to pack and prep.

I decided to skip my afternoon classes in order to get everything done I needed to and to save my body for the performance that night. I went home, packed for Idaho, cleaned my dirty dishes (a week gone with a sink full of gross dishes wasn't going to happen), pack and prep my stuff for the show that night, pack a "dinner" etc...

I made it back to the theater with time to go and observe KT's comp class, which was really interesting since that class did things mine did not.

After that VV met to run both our dances for the show that night before the warm up.

While we ran our dances Daniel and KT from ODC watched, to be honest I should have marked it more than I did but I wanted to impress them. By this point my body wasn't in so much pain and moving around a lot helped so very much!

Next up was warm up! The ballet dancers and modern dancers all warmed up separately, we were in the pavilion and I believe the ballet warm up was in Spanos. KT led our warm up with Daniel's assistance which was one of the best warm up's I've had in a while. I LOVED it! It was reminiscent of the warm ups Leah gave before Balance shows.

After warm up we got in to costume and did hair and make up, which was a little more intense that our normal because the PAC is so large.

(photo curtesy of Jumpbrush: Variable Velocity receives notes after Tech )

we slowly migrated to the hallway to jump around a bit and shake off some nerves. Then it was go time and as we say "I'll see you on the other side"

Daedal went ridiculously well. I didn't feel like a drowning rat (ok there might have been a holy shit moment) and I felt big on a little stage, not little on a big stage. I'm not necessarily the tallest or biggest person you will meet but I try very hard to dance big and move larger than life. That way I'm always pushing myself to project more and fulfill the movements to my greatest extent.

After intermission we had Viscera, again pre dance jump around the hallway, wake the body back up, say hello to my sore muscles and beg them for just 5 more minutes of hard work.

Viscera went swimmingly! It was a lot of fun... which is why I love VV. I work so hard at dance and I put all of my effort into it, from rehearsing for hours several days a week, conditioning on my days off, watching what I eat (less cheetos more fruits and veggies etc), giving up alcohol for weeks and months at a time (it's hard hanging out with friends when they just want to play drinking games or go to the bars during your only time off). When I perform dances with VV I feel a kind of joy that I get no where else in my life, the people around me are my family and the work I do is a miracle to me.

Someone said during a speech at Jumpbrush that there was happy, then there was Dance Happy... I know exactly what they mean.

After the performance was the dance party where I found my new friends from the noodle house, Paul and Patrick, as well as old friends and Variable dancers. It was so nice to be around so many people and hearing such great things from random strangers about the show (ok I eavesdropped a little, sue me!).

If anyone reads this and took part in Jumpbrush in any capacity please leave a comment with your thoughts on the event! I'd greatly love to hear what other people experienced and thought about everything!

Again these are all my personal opinion and in no way related to Cal Poly, Jumpbrush or anyone else involved so if you don't like what I wrote tell me directly (below in comments is best)

I LOVE DANCE!

For more info on Jumpbrush see my previous post as well as their:

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Why I love Frye

short film to why I love Frye

Why I Love my Frye Boots from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.