The Backseat

I hate to say that life is catching up with me, but it is. Today is the first day of dead week and I feel like I am already losing the fight. But if you know me at all you know I love to declare war on things and at this very moment I am declaring war on school and the end of the quarter! I will win this battle gosh dang it, a few law classes will not get in my way.

Variable has also gone into full swing which is ridiculously exciting! I have been a crazy person the last couple of weeks working out 1-2 times a day 6 to 7 days a week. Sometimes I even get up before 7am to get to the gym before class. I'm a nut I know. But I gotta work off the last of those French pastries before putting on the finals week pudge.

I have a couple new dance phrases that I like, they are very physical and demanding on the body so I can't really film them in my apartment unless I want to commit suicide. Sorry. I also need a video camera which I think is what I will be asking for, for my birthday in May. So if you would like to donate to the Lauren's documentary camera fund please let me(or my parents) know! I would love to be able to take more than a minute of video at a time.


Paris has been on my mind lately, and France in general. I miss it a lot, I miss Paris streets and markets. I miss hearing French all the time. I miss how beautiful the city is and how it exceeds my expectations every time I go. It never loses it's magic. I LOVE Paris.

Study music for the dancer mind

I am slightly obsessed with Steve Reich and his music, I use it to study A LOT. I find it easy to focus and block out the world while listening. I feel almost as if it transports me to a new place.

this is one of my favorite pieces he has composed

it reminds me of rinding on trains in Europe and the peace that the trains always gave me. Hours to just look out the window and the world around me and think. There was no problem too big to be solved on a train ride. My favorite train ride is Rouen to Paris /Paris to Rouen along the Seine.

My Nugget of Presence

here is the phrase created for my nugget of presence, I plan on speaking french phrases at the end when the hands move towards the ears and drop. To read the ideas behind the phrase see posts Presence and Presence 2

A couple of the movements are inspired by other things as well. The hand follows the veins on the inside of the arm comes from a line of poetry my friend Corey wrote while in France. And the head nuzzle on the shoulder and the hand that curls to a fist comes from a guy I knew in France as well.

Music by Sigur Ros

Enjoy

Nugget of Presence from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

The Body Morphic

Here is a cool dance video that I fully enjoy because of how they made it. She had to move SO slow in order to make it look so good. She has great presence. I love the part where the rush of people comes through (side note this dancer needs a ham sandwich! or 5). Please enjoy

The Body Morphic from Indelible Dance on Vimeo.

Dance Dance Dance with Bon Iver

She has great presence...

possibly one of the COOLEST videos I have ever seen of a random acoustic collaboration. I love Lykke Li and I love Bon Iver it is like a melding of oreos and peanut butter (if you know me that is my weakness!). It makes me want to dance around and enjoy life to the fullest.

For you to enjoy over and over and over again, I know I will:

Lykke Li & Bon Iver doing 'Dance Dance Dance' in L.A from Lykke Li on Vimeo.

Presence part 2

So I've been contemplating my nugget quite a lot lately and I keep thinking about my time in France and the effect that it had on my views of life and my way of living, specifically the awareness of self. I realized very quickly that I can never be anyone but my true self; therefore I should explore all the parts of me. The soul and/or spirit are ever changing and I found that every day I realized something new, sometimes it completely conflicted something I had just learned about myself.


Being unable to speak French and communicate through language opened another opportunity to communicate through facial expressions and movement. I had a lot of time in France to contemplate and think things through. I internalize naturally when I process new information or ideas. I don't like to share what I'm thinking or feeling I'd rather work through it alone and then share my conclusion (maybe). Especially if it makes me uncomfortable or vulnerable.

I keep thinking about presence and how each person's interacts, do they? I feel like presence creates those overwhelming instincts about people, almost like an aura that radiates. Some radiate more than others. Do we like to be around people that match our presence or do we like imbalance? Does an imbalance of presence create balance?


There was someone in France that had a presence, presence that I was addicted to. Sometimes it was great other times it was a nightmare. Which brought me to the idea of Charisma, is external charisma the same as presence? No because you can have a stern, commanding presence and not be at all charismatic. So, was it the presence of my friend's charisma that I liked? I don't know...

Presence

I am currently working with a company here in San Luis Called Variable Velocity Performance Group. One of the directors approached me about the idea for the new show and asked me to consider the idea of presence in conjunction with my time in France and my experience abroad. She mentioned that she might want me to say something in French. My immediate thoughts were oh no! I don't speak French, but I do know people who do.

Then I started thinking about presence and what it means to me, what it meant in France, what type of presence was needed for different situations. Specifically I thought about the stuggle in France between wanting to be noticed and having a strong presence and times when you'd rather be invisible and just blend in.

I thought about the fact that presence can also be a lack of presence not just the actual being of it. Therefore I began to play with ideas like in France I knew only a few phrases that really came in handy:

Je ne comprend pas or I don't understand
Je ne sais pas or I don't know
Je ne parle pas francais or I don't speak any french
Je parle francais un peu or I speak french a little
Je veux/je voudrais or I want/I would like
Bonjour/Bonsoir/Au Revoir or good day/good evening/good bye
oui/non, d'accord, pardon, desole, s'il vous plait/merci or yes/no, ok, excuse me, sorry, please/thank you

That was the presence I had and knew. I used them to grab attention when I needed help, or to blend in so people would think I was French. These were my tools I used them in every function imaginable. Most of the time I was a chameleon I tried to slip through the cracks appear French or European at least. I never wanted to be that American or the ugly American, stereotypes were my worst fear.

That is as far as I am in my discovery of presence in my life so far, but I will keep updating the thought process.