Love is a Futile Skirmish

Love is a Futile Skirmish from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

Why I want to attend Sarah Lawrence

I don’t want to be like anyone else, I want to explore dance and expand my identity as a dancer and choreographer in order to better share my thoughts. I have always worked to create my own thoughts and never rely on what I’m told or the world’s standards.

I want to study not only the human body, but also the mind and spirit that drive it. The body is a reaction to psychological and exterior factors. There are forces inside and out that affect every aspect of our lives. It is the forces and effects that fascinate me as a dancer and choreographer.

Sarah Lawrence is not a place to perfect technique in order to create carbon copy students. It offers a place to explore, discover, and grow; not just as a dancer and choreographer but also as a human. Sarah Lawrence also provides a cerebral study of dance. I attended California Polytechnic University as an out of state student (6.8% of students) in one of the most rigorous business programs in the country. I want to continue to use every bit of my brain, a marriage between right and left halves. Pure physicality cannot exist alone; it requires impetus from the psyche and/or spirit. All elements need to be engaged to create a true piece of art.

I see Sarah Lawrence as a chance to live in a new environment and experience a much different community from those in Idaho and California. While I have lived in France I have never been east of Salt Lake City in the United States. I am excited about Sarah Lawrence’s proximity to New York to see shows on and off Broadway, visit MoMA, and experience a diverse area, something I have dreamed of since I was young. I also want to experience the natural beauty of the northeast. I draw a lot of inspiration from my surroundings and Sarah Lawrence provides a new and unique setting for me to learn and explore.

I was fully convinced Sarah Lawrence was for me upon receiving emails and phone calls from the school, simply asking if I had any questions or needed anything. From the second I ordered the information packet from SLC Dance I felt supported and welcomed. No one has ever done that before; schools, jobs, or activities. Recently when I landed in Phoenix halfway through my journey to Idaho for Christmas I turned on my phone and seconds later received a phone call from Sarah Lawrence about this application. I felt that I mattered and I was important. Dedication to a student means everything to me and shows me that Sarah Lawrence will be a place where I can grow as a dancer, choreographer, and as a person.

Why I want to pursue Graduate studies

Dance is the door to exploring, molding, and defining my identity. Throughout my life I have challenged myself to take every opportunity available to sculpt my character. The human personality and soul from afar are a simple shape, after looking more closely and studying it, more unique and intricate facets of the object appear from the single dimension to become a complex multi-dimensional object. Dance is a tool for studying and learning more facets to the human spirit. There are infinite possibilities and facets to discover about yourself and the world.

I am currently intrigued by the idea of site-specific dance, the ability of space to effect the movement. I want to experiment with the effect of dance in a space with the audience there to experience the interaction. Dance in a space created for a camera and dance on stage affected by a space caught on camera. The dynamics of the interaction between an unusual space, dancer(s), and media needs further exploration.

Living in a tiny apartment in France I began creating site-specific works in different parts of my living space. While I had done site-specific improvisations before, the audience was usually there to view the pieces. This was the first time I had created work for a camera and I found the challenge inspiring.

I want a creative and cerebral study of dance. I want to take my library of knowledge and apply it to every aspect of my life. Everything is a web connected together: technique, music, lighting, anatomy; they are all facets of an idea. In this ever-changing world it is important to be more than a specialist. Every area of study is applicable to another, musicality can inform movement, which can be influenced by light, and influenced by another human’s desires or needs.

Dance in its purest form is relatable to everyone, even in a miniscule way. Dance is based upon pure human emotion and experience. Intertwined with the use of movement, dance becomes an investigation between the human mind and body guided by the spirit. I use the world around me as a source of inspiration to explore relationships between myself and the world, things, people and rhythms in it.

I have never fully immersed myself in dance; it has always been a secondary activity to school. I’m ready to make dance the focus of my life and to be challenged in an academic study of the art.

Autobiography

Climb, twirl, paint, imagine. I was born and raised in Boise, Idaho in a Basque-American family; I knew I was unusual from day 1. Born to be different and strike my own path in life. I was free to pursue my passions and express myself in many forms, from studying Egyptology at 10 to choreographing at 17. Through my own studies and explorations I slowly began to shape my identity.

When I turned 15 I started dancing with the Oinkari Basque Dancers, a professional Basque folk dance group, and the heart of my Basque family, my Amuma (grandmother) passed away. I had always been Basque, it was in my blood, I ate the food, and I had been to a several festivals. It wasn’t until I had lost a part of my Basque identity, my Amuma, that I found my own identity. I gained a loyalty to my Basque heritage that I had never felt before. I danced for my Amuma because in life she had never seen me dance, but I hoped in death she was watching me dance and was proud.

The next year I was advised by a former dance teacher to try a modern dance class from her friend, Matt Hope. From the first day he had us rolling on the floor and moving in a less than attractive manner. There was something that clicked with me, the athleticism and abstract movement felt right on my body. I had never danced “ugly” before or thought more about how to move than the lines created by the body. Matt pushed us to think about what it felt like and not what it looked like. He faced us away from the mirrors, had us on our hands, shifting weight, dancing like I had never danced before. Matt opened my door of opportunity by introducing me to Leah Clark and the Balance Dance Company, a pre -professional modern company.

Balance Dance Company supported dancers in developing and cultivating their skills as choreographers. For my junior and senior years, I created works for the Ballet Idaho Choreography Competition for youth choreographers. The first year was a solo piece that I later set as a trio for my final Balance show. The second year I created a quartet that was based on my rebellion to the traditions of the choreography competition. I wanted to create a dance that was all about breaking the rules and creating your own path. The piece contrasted from the rest of the competition in utilizing rock music by The Raconteurs and a physical, modern style of movement. It wasn’t a pretty piece but it had a clear voice and complete thought, and won first place. With the help of Balance and the choreography competition I learned about myself and my perspective on life.

In high school I spent a large portion of my time at school with my arms elbow deep in clay using the human form as my inspiration. I was encouraged by my pottery instructor to sculpt in my own way and create outside of the conventional forms. My first advanced sculpture series was based on the human form wrapped in a blanket of clay, leaving only a shell to suggest an invisible body creating the shape. Upon those shells I painted aspects of human nature from childhood memories, religion, love, and family. Another series I sculpted based on a human head starting with just the skull and adding until it was a complete head. I was never interested in making cups or flowers or things. I wanted to capture the human body, mind and spirit with a little clay and paint. I feel the same about choreographing.

When I moved to California for college, I had a plan to be in the school company and get a degree in International Business, then work for an art gallery or museum. However I didn’t fit the model of the school company and instead, landed in my dance teacher’s modern company in San Luis Obispo, one of the best things to ever happen. In working with Variable Velocity, I learned about Bartenieff fundamentals, gyrokinesis, Bill Evans’ mind-body integration, and a list a mile long. Before I met Jude Clark Warnisher, one of the directors of Variable Velocity, I had never heard of a sacrum, let alone knew how to use it. After three years with the company my sacrum is my best friend.

In September 2009, I packed two large duffle bags and boarded a plane to France where I lived and studied for 4 months. I lived in a small apartment building dedicated to 200 international students of Rouen Business School. Living abroad connected me with my European roots and allowed me to experience many cultures and a different way of life.

I had traveled to Europe several times before, but this was the first time I had to do everything myself. My favorite part of life in France was waking up each morning, opening my huge window and doing a 20 minute yoga, Pilates, or ballet work out before starting my day. This ritual became the basis for what would change my life. I decided one day to create a dance and then make a film in my tiny apartment which I posted on my French travel blog. I continued to make site-specific dance pieces while living in France.

When I returned to the U.S. I decided to continue blogging and focused on dance and my site-specific work in the new blog, MovementTronic: Chertudi Dance Adventure. I have worked vigorously on the blog and I also have been teaching the beginning modern Variable Velocity class, observing and assisting in Nipomo High School’s dance department. When I am not dancing I am at someone else’s rehearsals and classes. Dance and I have become one. I know the only path for me is dance.

HELLO!

It's been awhile since I have experienced free time. To be honest I still don't have any. School crushed me this fall, I gave up sleep, food, and personal life but I succeeded and passed all my classes with a respectable grade.

The second finals ended in December I immediately began my application to Sarah Lawrence Graduate Studies for dance... yes dance! That has taken up that last month of my life.

I post it tomorrow! GAH

For the application I had to write 3 essays, create a technique video, a solo video, and any additional materials (i.e. choreography clips). I am a perfectionist and I have been stressing out over this application like none other.

soooo I will post my 3 essays and the solo video on here

also I am teaching again for VV starting next week! so look for class videos soon!

I am a dance addict

gone webby!

I have a new website as part of my senior project work, don't worry this is still my main page and place of work.

But to watch the progress check this out!

http://www.wix.com/laurenchertudi/chertudidance

rocks, woodland nypms, and psycho paths...

The last 2 days have been AMAZING for me. 100% dance 0% school and work. I'm sooooooo happy

Ok so I was asked to step in for an injured dancer in the universities dance company even though I'm not a member, meaning I will be a guest artist in the show for that one piece. I am so over the moon that I get to be a small part of the school's dance program. I have only ever taken classes and never been a part of the company for various reasons. I love the fact that I can act as a small supporting member and just be there for the experience. I don't want or need attention or solos or whatever, I simply want to dance and it felt so good to be able to do that.

Friday was my first rehearsal for the piece, (which they are almost done with so I have a lot of homework to do! which lets be honest makes me ridiculously happy). It's an amazing piece that is a lot of fun to do and I can't wait to actually learn it.

Friday afternoon Variable had a photo shoot in Montana de Oro in the Eucalyptus trees with Kiel Carreau and Kamil Konrad. I felt like a woodland nymph mixed with a tree monkey. It was such a good time and I know we got some epic photos and video out of it.

Today (saturday) we had rehearsal for the big performance in a week down in Palm Desert for the Dance Under the Stars at the McCallum Theater, where we are competing. I am beyond excited for it and I think the piece looks awesome. It feels tight and strong and looks clear and precise. I LOVE it.

It's been such a great 2 days and I love being a dancer more than anything in the world. It's actually kind of funny, a friend of mine kept asking if I was going out the last couple nights. Thursday I had dance until 10pm, Friday dance from 8-11am photo shoot from 1-6, Saturday dance from 8-12. His point was that I need to re organize my priorities and stop being so good and dance and devoting my time to it. According to him I need to slack off, drink/party more, and dance, study and work less. I'm sorry to say that's never going to happen I love dancing too much.

photo by Ryan Polei Spring 2009

Meet Laine

This is my friend Laine, she's my fancy photographer friend who takes super cool photos of me, which is why I love her. (possible interview to be seen here soon)

The title photo for this blog was taken by her when we were living in France where she did a series of photos that can be see here. When she puts up more photos of me for my dance portfolio they will be posted don't worry.

She takes really cool photos of every kind:

This was on Portobello Road on our trip to London:

I think this one belongs in the New York Times Travel section (my highest compliment if you know me, I'm obsessed with the New York Times). Plus its a photo of Shell Beach which is my favorite:

This is me at the Blind Pilot show a couple of weeks ago:

While she cheated on me with another dancer for this shot I have to admit it's beyond amazing! and the blue paint effect she used on the print is epic but there isn't a digital version of that yet:

To see more of her work or resume or to contact her for work go to:

flikr account

linkedin

ALL PHOTOS courtesy of Laine Riley, copyright Laine Riley, all rights reserved... please don't steal them. It's not nice and we may have to hunt you down for being a bad person, please don't be a bad person. Thank you

Concerts Galore!

I love music, probably more than a healthy amount. However I can't change and must embrace that fact. Recently I have had the chance to see some pretty awesome shows lately.

Of course Arcade Fire will never be topped, that was the most amazing show EVER.

Lately I have seen 3 pretty awesome show though

First was Blind Pilot at CalPoly on Oct 14th during UU hour. They are such a cute band from Portland that just bring joy to my life.

I LOVE this song!

Then this Thursday in the rain again during UU hour was Trevor Hall who brought so much joy and a whole hour of stress relief that I so greatly enjoyed.

I couldn't find a live video that I liked, so here is a song that I love

Friday I went to the grand re opening of SLO Brew (formerly Downtown Brew/DTB) with a concert by Still Time.

My Friend Dave's band Central Currency was the first opener, followed by a band that to be honest I can't remember the name of and it isn't on the website. But it started with a Z and they were from Sacramento! Also they had a rapper come up during their set and he was AMAZING.

Still Time as always rocked and they had 2 new songs that they premiered, the second was especially awesome.

here is a favorite song of mine:

Drowning Rat...

I'm a great drowning rat! School is killing me and I have literally given up everything just to keep up. I'm dying emotionally and physically though. I seem to have given up dance, food and sleep... basically every essential thing in my life. I've never had a nervous break down but I think last night was pretty damn close.

on top of more school work than any human could ever handle, I had a broken toilet, broken printer, and broken spirit. I miss dance and I miss real food not school food I buy because I literally live in the library now (no seriously they put down a cot with my name on it near Julian's coffee shop). The staff at Julians officially has my orders memorized all they as is chai or coffee, dirty or straight and how bad. that brings about only a few options:

how bad = medium or large

chai or coffee (chai latte or cafe au lait)

dirty or straight (added shot or not)

The people at Linnaea's my local cafe have also memorized me and my needs, wednesday after a breakdown I went and they guy gave me a mint brownie that I plan on marrying (no seriously it was the most amazing ever)

next week is hell part 2, pray for me to any and every god you can think of... I am

tonight however I will finish up a little work before Still Time's show at SLO Brew with Dave's band Central Currency opening and tomorrow 6 hours of rehearsal (YAY variable velocity!) then shower at school and head to the library (I know you're shocked!) for a meeting then who knows... probably more studying let's be honest.

also I think I'm growing an ulcer, I don't know if that's how it works but I feel like I'm having a coffee baby that will become an ulcer. good thing I don't smoke or my heart palpitations would possibly grow to make my heart actually explode from stress.

Just remember... SARAH LAWRENCE! SARAH LAWRENCE SARAH LAWRENCE...

Crazify your day

a friend posted this video on facebook and I thought it was BEYOND cool

here is the link to the HD version on facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1664492411895&ref=mf

and here is the normal quality version:

How the Rain Soothes my Soul

It's been raining here in SLO for a couple days now and it makes me so happy. I know that sounds weird, but I love the rain it has always comforted me. I like to say the rain can wash away any problems or pain in my life. I've always loved the solace it brings, like a big fuzzy blanket from childhood.

I've been a little out of sorts and crazy in the head the last 2-3 weeks and I've had very little dance in my life to center me and make me feel better. So I've just been getting crabbier, antsier, and more agitated. I found myself snapping at people when I finally got to dance after my classes were over because I didn't know what was going on, and I felt out of the loop and stupid. I hate feeling stupid more than anything in the world.

Saturday morning before leaving for Berkeley I had a good, long, solid rehearsal for a piece that I was SO lost in. I learned the piece and began to feel the undercurrent of the piece not just "oh shit what comes next!" It was so nice not to feel lost in a sea of unknown movement and to settle into it a little.

Last night we rehearsed the piece a little more and when I arrived I could quickly grasp what they had already been working on, learned a bunch of new material and felt immediately good in it (except the beginning of that damned coat phrase! haha). I was laughing and making jokes again... it felt natural and I was reminded of why I love dance so much.

This morning I'm attempting to finish up some reading for my meetings and classes today, however I am more focused on the sound of the soothing rain mixed with Arcade Fire's The Suburbs swirling in the air around my head and I keep getting lost in the movement in my head. I'm dancing away to a far away place that is so joyful, that I have a hard time returning to the world of financial decisions and simulation guidelines.

Can I just graduate now? I'm ready to go to grad school and eat, sleep and breathe dance...

I found this video from the show at Berkeley, just to think I was right there in the pit right in front of the guitarist on stage right (left side of the screen)

Surrealism part 2

All of these photos were taken from my crappy little phone so the quality is not ideal but I don't care it shows where I was and what I love. (Arcade Fire in Berkeley Oct 2, 2010)

Greek Theater :

Calexico opened

Arcade Fire's Entrance
Ready to Start! first song of the night

They are so epic

No Cars Go (I loved the background on the screen for this one)

This was the last song of the regular set: Rebellion, which is my favorite song, Win came right in front of me... I almost died. He really is larger than life

That's all the photos I got because I wanted to focus on the concert not taking photos and video and everything else. I wanted the proof of my being there to be the memory and feelings that I will keep forever in my heart (cheesey I know but deal with it)

Surrealism in real life

last night I was in the pit at Berkeley's Greek Theater for the Arcade Fire Concert. I don't have words to explain how amazing the concert was; mind blowing, life changing, surreal are as close as I can get however even they don't suffice for the feelings I had for that short time.

How I've been trying to explain it is: Nothing in the world has EVER matched how I feel when I dance. Nothing has even come close... until last night. Seeing Arcade Fire from the pit in person was the only thing to ever make me feel that much, and make me that in the moment and true.

this is a terrible description but that's the closest I can get

here is video from this tour at Madison Square Gardens of the final song of the encore... nothing can top standing and singing with thousands of people to this song

My Revelation of Sinner men

I LOVE this section of Ailey's Revelations it's called Sinner Man.

it is a great example of Horton Technique, Ailey style, and the most amazing male dancers

it's a short section but so very very powerful

Night Journey into Angels

Here is a piece by Martha Graham, a legend to say the very least! I love this piece for the group work more that the duet that actually occurs.

it is based on the story of Oedipus Rex and his Mother/Wife Jocasta

skip to minute 1.40 for the entrance of the large group of females (the chorus)

Night Journey by Martha Graham from Dee Kearney on Vimeo.

Another piece by Martha is Diversion of Angels, which again I love the group sections and less of the solos and duets. My favorite section is around minute 5.19 when the woman in red enters and especially the quartet that follows. I don't know why but it is so jovial and pretty.

Diversion of Angels by Martha Graham (Excerpt) from Dee Kearney on Vimeo.

Rite of Spring

sometimes (often) I feel like the sacrificial virgin here... I think that's why I keep coming back to this piece and why I love it so much

there is something so emotionally honest about this final section of Pina Bausch's version of Rite of Spring by Stravinsky. It is so earthy and raw... nothing to hide, all her cards are on the table

warning there is partial nudity in this clip (upper torso of a female to be precise)

you can see all of this version on youtube and I highly recommend it

dance for thought

I think it helped she was wearing BSU colors at camel's back park

A Time for Everything...

well my time teaching has come to an end, at least for a couple months while I focus on School. It's my senior year at Poly and I only have 8 class, equalling 2 quarters left. One of my classes this quarter conflicts with dance class (I'll arrive a little late to rehearsal this fall)

It pains me to have to give up dance time for school but I just have to remind myself it is only a little longer than I can focus on dance for the rest of my life, or for however long it makes me happy to do so.

Tuesday September 14th was the 3rd week in a row for me to teach and to work on this phrase. It has transformed greatly from a couple of awkward trees swaying in the breeze to a true forest full of critters, grass, trees and wind. I still need to work on the components and really refine and complete the movement.

here is 2 runs in a row with me in them

Beginning Combo 9-14-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

here is 2 of the dancers alone

Beginning Combo * dancers only 9-14-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

Compare to

week 1
week 2


after that I asked if I could use my 3 lovely ladies Mac, Caren and Kathy as guinea pigs and play with some ideas I have for the final piece.

I worked with layer, level and dynamic, here is the result:


(video on the way)

That called to an end my short stint teaching the beginning modern class. I'm hoping to guest teach at Nipomo a couple of times later in the quarter and year and when December/January rolls around I will hopefully be back in rotation for teaching at VV. So never fear this is not the end of Movement Tronic... there is always more! Seriously my head is a never ending abyss of dance crazy.

The trees have evolved!

So as I said I scrapped most of last weeks phrase and started again... this time using Zoe Keating music like I want for the Nipomo dance.

I kept with my forest theme in the piece and still didn't get to finish the phrase so next week look for more changes and additions!

here it is

Beginning Combo 9-7-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

Beginning Combo *Dancers only* 9-7-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

Board Dancing

try dancing on a board!

this video is SO @)!@*#$*$(#$**%#$ AMAZING!!!!!!! It's literally dancing on a skateboard and so beyond cool I can't even put it into words.

just watch for yourself

I like being a tree in your odd little forest

Tuesday Aug 31 I taught the Beginning Modern class for Variable Velocity. On Tuesday I was thinking about the class and that I wanted to use it to work on ideas and play around with material for Nipomo High School.

I know that I am interested in the idea of layers, levels, and as usual dynamic opposition. That led me to the idea of a forest and the layers of a natural forest with tall trees, bushes, grasses, critters, the wind, etc all working together to create this environment with so much life, energy and movement.

I am considering using this Zoe Keating song because I only get 3-4 mins to show a complete thought which is very difficult (think about taking gone with the wind and condensing it to a paragraph)

However as I started thinking about the movement I found myself very stuck... I had choreographers block. I couldn't shake it my body wouldn't flow, my mind wouldn't open, and for the life of me I couldn't visualize anything.

So I went for a walk, possibly the best thing I could do. I went out I found some trees, the wind was mighty that day and the sun was bright. I breathed the air and soaked in the sun and had this Balmorhea song on repeat on my ipod. I had found the music but not the story yet.

It took me almost 3 hours to bang out some semblance of a phrase... that frankly I'm not a huge fan of and I plan on scrapping 90% of it. There are bits of it that I like and lots that I don't but that is the nice part of setting the movement on these dancers before the Nipomo kids. If Mac, Caren and I can't make it work, then no one can.

So here is the phrase that consists of all forest things, starts with grass then trees and moves to wind and critters and those bushes and ends with a falling leaf.

take a look, tell me what you think, and look for a drastic change next tuesday!

VV Beginning combo 8-31-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

The dancers are rock stars working so hard to make this look and feel decent. I had no specific timing or counts and no real definite structure to movement quality.

VV Beginning Combo *dancers only* 8-31-10 from Lauren Chertudi on Vimeo.

From Home to Hometown

Sunday August 15th I flew from Santa Maria to Boise (via LAX) for a short vacation and visit to the great state of Ada.

The original intent of my visit was to see Bob Dylan and the secondary benefit was a week with my Dad in Boise.

I have a list of 4 people/bands I HAVE to see before I die

Bob Dylan

Sufjan Stevens

Arcade Fire

Tom Waits

say what you like... my mother claims I have a thing for old white guys who mumble, that may be partially true. But this is the list and I stand by it.

So Saturday after Jumpbrush and the dance party I went to home at midnight ish and finished getting ready for the next morning. I had to be up at 3:45 to be on the road by 4:15 to be at the airport at 5 for a flight at 6am. (I know I'm crazy) I also REALLY needed to shower so at 1am I showered and finally was in bed by 1:30

*insert 2 hours sleep*

ALARM 1

ALARM 2

*insert cursing*

I get up and pack my stuff up and get ready

I had already printed out my boarding passes and directions to the SM airport the day before so I was pretty much ready to go

TO BOISE

*insert normal boring flight 1hr layover and flight 2*

For the first time in a long time my dad was actually waiting for me at the airport when I walked out of security (normally I'm early and I have to sit and wait around for someone to pick me up).

we head back to the house and chilled until I left for the concert

Kirsten, Keela and I have been obsessed with Bob Dylan since 9th grade when one evening we saw the Scorsese film No Direction Home, a documentary about Bob Dylan on PBS's American Masters series. From that moment on we were hooked.

I was lucky enough to experience Bob Dylan with Kirsten at my right hand. The concert was epic, Bob was wonderful and the best of all, during the encore I looked up to the heavens (we were outside at the Idaho botanical gardens) and I saw a shooting star. My heart almost exploded with joy.

The next day I had coffee with one of my all time favorite Balance girls (ok all of them are my favorite you caught me) Caitlin. Caitlin and her family have essentially become my family in many respects. It was her aunt and uncle that I stayed with in Italy during my break last year and she has danced with/for me for goodness 5 years or so. Now she's headed off to college and I am so excited for her next stage in life!

After that I went over to the Basque Market to grab a sandwich for lunch... where I had a strange encounter. I walked in made my order and as I was standing there a woman who worked at the market approached me and asked "Are you a Balance Dancer?" well I haven't heard that one in a long, long time! I told her I used to be and that I was visiting for the week.

Turns out it was the mom of one of the young girls in Balance right now! Her mom remembered me, and the piece I made for Balance in 2008-2009 about the paintings. To me it wasn't even being recognized but the fact she remembered a part of the small speech I made about the piece in the November showing. She was actually affected and made a mental memory of my work. I can't tell you how much it means to me to hear that people not only like the piece when they see it, but remember it and it actually meant something to them. That's like winning the lottery, or curing cancer (don't worry Mara's on that!), or finding Atlantis for me. I can't put into words the joy it gives me and the hope it inspires in my life.

Tuesday I caught up with another friend at coffee, his name is Cody and we worked on the river together for 3 summers at the raft and tube shop. Ever since I've kept up pretty consistent contact getting updates on high school and such. He has become another little brother like Kurt, meaning not actually my brother but they might as well be.

That afternoon was a Balance pool party at Lauren's house. I was really excited when I got the invite because I haven't seen the girls in so long!!! It was a bonus that Leah was there with her 2 beautiful children Rafferdy and Matilde.

I love Boise in the summer! It is hot but it is such a nice dry heat that your body just absorbs it like a lizard; unlike the heat in SLO which is sticky and heavy so it just sits on your body like a big weight.

I created a new breakfast invention I think is my best yet! honey bunched of oats (with almonds) and fresh blackberries with icy cold milk.

Tuesday night was dinner at Casanova's pizza with Dad, Matt and Debra which was fantastic and super delicious! It was a nice little family dinner thing.

Wednesday I worked on this blog actually! I went to a local coffee shop with the best coffee in the world called Moxie Java while I was there I popped on facebook and saw an Arcade Fire update and they had announced new shows for their current tour. Me being hugely obsessed with them, and them not yet announcing any west coast dates, I scrambled to their website and saw they had a show in Berkeley that I could go to and not miss dance or anything! So I go to look at tickets which were on sale on their website.

$60... ouch! especially since I had just paid that for Bob. So I try to call my mom and get her second opinion since I had 30 mins to hold onto the tickets online. She couldn't talk so I decided, screw it! I'll just buy the ticket and I can pawn it off later if I have to. I go to hit purchase and the internet cut out at moxie. So I hop in my car and drive home halfway, my mom calls me and I start chatting with her about the ticket (it's legal in Idaho to talk and drive) I get home, run inside and hit enter again on the tickets... sold out

GOD MOTHER F#(* @*#(@$*_*)@!@#IV_@(I#$8@$93$

I thought the curse was over!

I hang up with my mom and curse at god telling him to stop being mean and let me go to the concerts I like... I go back onto the website to see if any other dates would work and magically more tickets for Berkeley appeared! Without thinking I purchase one and snagged a ticket, General Admission standing floor at the Greek Theater in Berkeley... I almost died of happiness not only do I get to go but I have phenomenal tickets!

Talk about a roller coaster of emotions... a women in menopause couldn't have topped that

That afternoon I went to the Western Idaho Fair to help with the 4-H judging since I know the lady who runs the show and it's $40 to eat a bunch of candy and cakes etc. While there Jacki texts me that Austin and Chase McBride are in Boise on their tour... I tell her to give them my number and if they want to hang out to let me know. (some of you may remember I used Chase McBride music my first 2 weeks of teaching)

Later that day Austin texts me that they have a show that night at Solid downtown... I call Keela and we decide to go, our friend Laura met us there.

It was a lot of fun and a great show, I also love sharing my California life with my Idaho friends.

After the show we headed over to Flying M for a bit to catch up and chat a bit (since this is the first time in years that I've seen Laura and it's been a long time since I talked to Keela as well)

Flying M is SUPER hipster which makes it great

Thursday was a very relaxing day, went for a run, worked on this lovely blog then I went to lunch with my brother, his roommate and his friend. The 3 boys are basically my 3 big brothers and have been since I was a kid.

After that I went home and picked some blackberries with dad and got ready for dinner with the grandparents and Caldwell Night Rodeo!

I am an expert blackberry picker... just thought I'd mention that

Dinner was nice since I haven't really seen my grandparents since like christmas or something, even though the dreaded question did come up... I really hate being asked if I have a boyfriend and the ever present follow up of why not.

The Rodeo was fantastic! I'm a civi personally (meaning I'm a civilized viewer from the shady stands not a rowdy in the sun) It was tough enough to wear pink night too!

I really love the rodeo, I'm not sure why but I have a lot of fond family memories from my life that occur at the rodeo.

This girl's hair perplexed me to no end!








Matt and Debra!

After the Rodeo we went to my aunt and uncle's house to see the new puppy Sammy
Friday morning I got up early to pack and get ready to go.my dad dropped me off at the airport on his way to work... and I was homeward bound.
I know this is hard to say... but Boise is now a place to visit my family and SLO is now my home. In many ways I have a family in SLO that look out for me in my parents stead but it's just not the same; nothing is the same anymore. It is very hard when you feel like a guest in your parents' house and a visitor to your hometown. I used to call Boise home now it is my hometown. When people ask me where I'm from I now ask in return "currently or originally?"

Observe and Report

Wednesday August 25th I went to Nipomo High School and observed Chrissy's dance classes for the day (well from 10am on it is summer!)

Out of the blue I had the idea that it would be really cool if I could observe Chrissy's classes and look at her dancers and really see them in an environment other than the audition back in May.

I wanted to observe the company class for the purpose of, almost a pre audition, viewing. I care more about my dancers' attitudes than ability. They made it to the company because they can dance, but I am a tough choreographer and I want to push the dancers to their limits. I'm not going to give them elementary material like I did in the audition. So I need dancers willing to risk a little more in performance and really commit to the work.

I also REALLY hate a bad attitude and lazy behavior. I don't appreciate it. In the past I have stopped rehearsals and sent dancers home because they were physically present but mentally absent.

The actual day of observing was interesting, the first class was the company.

of course all the girls and a couple of the guys recognized me and I watched them rehearse a piece they are performing at the football game in a couple weeks. It seemed like at least half the dancers weren't feeling well (I guess a flu outbreak or something) so many were marking it. You can tell a lot about a dancer by the way they mark a piece.

I simply observed and in general kept my mouth shut, which is hard sometimes.

Next was Dance 2 with a ballet routine... most of the dancers were far from dance 2 level but according to Chrissy she can't do much about it.

The final 2 classes I observed was Dance 1 in hip hop. This was a lot of fun to watch... let me just say Chrissy's got swagger!

After observing I chatted a bit with Chrissy about random dance chit chat and headed on my way.

The next 3 weeks I'm teaching beginning modern for Variable and I think I'm going to work on material for Nipomo and teach an audition class in a couple of weeks.

More to come!!!

Jumprush: the play by play

(photo curtesy of Jumpbrush, centerpieces I made with Tanya)

For me Jumpbrush was more than a fun dance intensive I was taking part of, it was a weekend of opportunity and experiences. I wanted to get absolutely everything I possibly could out of Jumpbrush and I, in many respects, sacrificed things a normal person would never give up to do so. I know I can come off as cold and less than inviting to the average person (and to my friends and family) because I will always put dance first. I made the decision, without realizing it in many ways, to choose dance over the people I care for. I don't take that back and I definitely don't regret it, but I understand that it can make an enemy out of me to those around.

The actual events of Jumpbrush were eye opening for me. I have taken huge intensives before with choreographers from across the country and world before but not as an Adult (yes that required a capital A) and not as a dancer looking at a career in professional dance. I am a perfectionist and my hardest critic which makes me a good dancer, I never give up and always want to find more. Which is why it was good to start with Jude, she calms me and teaches me more about my body and spirit that I would never have learned otherwise. Jude is like my spirit guide in many ways, I know when I'm around her to just shut up and listen and my answers will come.

Next was tech which involved my first experience with the PAC stage... wow, that stage is like a punch in the chest. It knocks the wind out of you and makes your body feel so small and insignificant. Therefore my challenge was to make my tiny frame fill every ounce of the space around me. I wanted to command the stage and ooze into every crevice of the audience.

(photo curtesy of Jumpbrush of VV tech)

I failed... at least for my first time in the space. I felt like a drowning rat, then a cat in water, then maybe a dog, and finally a frog... not graceful but not dead or drowning.

Next was Swany's class which was my first Jazz class since 10th grade (that was 5 years ago... holy shit!) I loved his class and the combo was badass to say the least... however I have a BIG bone to pick with the way he conducts the class. It became an audition, not a master class. I understand pointing out and clarifying the things you like, but the last 20 mins of class should not be dedicated to the 6 people out of 25 that you like the best and only letting them perform the combo. Personally I was not one of his top picks but I did get chosen for a couple of the small groups. I don't really care if he likes me I just had to remind myself "this isn't an audition and I don't need a job just to do MY best." I could visually see the people around me having their moods change though. I still respect Swany and I admire his work and I would consider auditioning for him in a few years but that left a bad taste in my mouth and I know that not everyone took it as neutrally as me.

Thank goodness for Angie to bring back the joy in the next class. She teaches traditional modern dance in many ways, Limon technique etc. I enjoyed pushing myself and seeing how precise and clear I could be and really MOVE. After the class we chatted and I got her card because I know she will be a great help in my search for Grad school. She lifted mine and many other's spirits.

Next I went to Composition with KT, possibly my favorite part of the entire weekend other than performing. I wish the class had been much, much longer. I love composition and creating work. The phrase she taught us was unusual and quirky, then adding my own quirk to it and creating a whole new phrase was beyond rewarding. I loved my phrase and when I found out I was got to work with Harmony I was double excited. We created a piece together that in my opinion was ready for the stage. It felt good to do and was dynamic and interesting.

(photo curtesy of Jumpbrush of Harmony and I performing our phrase with another pair)

After comp we all ran to the pavillion for a Convergence rehearsal. Convergence was the final piece of the Finale show. It consisted of all of the companies and teachers "converging" for the first time. It was a structured improv dance that, to be honest, was in no way an improv just structure. However it turned out beautiful and was an event.

The last official part of the day was the Moving Mural. The idea was for the dancers to completely circle the Cohan Center in a structured improv (a real one) with the help of live musicians. It was a fun way to just clear your brain and de-stress from the day. To quote my friend Leslie the moving mural was "Oh getting-out-of-one's-head happiness!"

The best part was the media coverage, I actually made the cover of the SLO City News (pictured below) from the moving mural!

After the Mural there was Salsa dancing (like every Friday at Cal Poly) Brittany, Megan and I decided dinner and a bath was a much better idea. We headed to Natural Cafe in downtown SLO and grabbed some nutritious and filling food for our tired bodies. Then it was bath time! I don't have a bath tub in my hipster house, but megan's place has 2 bathrooms and her roommates are currently not living there, so I borrowed her spare bathtub. It was wonderful a long bath with music and epsom salt followed by a lot of arnica.

DAY 2

Day 2 began with me oversleeping and not making it to Ryan Beck's Yoga class... which was probably a good thing since I was performing that night and my body needed rest. My first class was Drew's contemporary jazz class which I was really excited for. I've never met Drew or taken his class before this weekend but I have always heard a lot about him.

His class was fantastic! I had a lot of fun and felt like it could have been longer.

(photo Curtesy of Jumpbrush: Me in Drew Silvaggio's class)

After that it was time for Diana's Bollywood class. My body was sooooo sore and to be honest I was in a fair bit of pain. This physical condition caused Diana's class to be a bit rougher than usual for me. However the class was rockin and I was so excited to be there and represent VV.

During lunch we had the final rehearsal for Convergence and my final time to adjust to the PAC stage. I needed that! After we converged and became slightly comfortable in the space with the piece it was time to move on. For me that meant home to pack and prep.

I decided to skip my afternoon classes in order to get everything done I needed to and to save my body for the performance that night. I went home, packed for Idaho, cleaned my dirty dishes (a week gone with a sink full of gross dishes wasn't going to happen), pack and prep my stuff for the show that night, pack a "dinner" etc...

I made it back to the theater with time to go and observe KT's comp class, which was really interesting since that class did things mine did not.

After that VV met to run both our dances for the show that night before the warm up.

While we ran our dances Daniel and KT from ODC watched, to be honest I should have marked it more than I did but I wanted to impress them. By this point my body wasn't in so much pain and moving around a lot helped so very much!

Next up was warm up! The ballet dancers and modern dancers all warmed up separately, we were in the pavilion and I believe the ballet warm up was in Spanos. KT led our warm up with Daniel's assistance which was one of the best warm up's I've had in a while. I LOVED it! It was reminiscent of the warm ups Leah gave before Balance shows.

After warm up we got in to costume and did hair and make up, which was a little more intense that our normal because the PAC is so large.

(photo curtesy of Jumpbrush: Variable Velocity receives notes after Tech )

we slowly migrated to the hallway to jump around a bit and shake off some nerves. Then it was go time and as we say "I'll see you on the other side"

Daedal went ridiculously well. I didn't feel like a drowning rat (ok there might have been a holy shit moment) and I felt big on a little stage, not little on a big stage. I'm not necessarily the tallest or biggest person you will meet but I try very hard to dance big and move larger than life. That way I'm always pushing myself to project more and fulfill the movements to my greatest extent.

After intermission we had Viscera, again pre dance jump around the hallway, wake the body back up, say hello to my sore muscles and beg them for just 5 more minutes of hard work.

Viscera went swimmingly! It was a lot of fun... which is why I love VV. I work so hard at dance and I put all of my effort into it, from rehearsing for hours several days a week, conditioning on my days off, watching what I eat (less cheetos more fruits and veggies etc), giving up alcohol for weeks and months at a time (it's hard hanging out with friends when they just want to play drinking games or go to the bars during your only time off). When I perform dances with VV I feel a kind of joy that I get no where else in my life, the people around me are my family and the work I do is a miracle to me.

Someone said during a speech at Jumpbrush that there was happy, then there was Dance Happy... I know exactly what they mean.

After the performance was the dance party where I found my new friends from the noodle house, Paul and Patrick, as well as old friends and Variable dancers. It was so nice to be around so many people and hearing such great things from random strangers about the show (ok I eavesdropped a little, sue me!).

If anyone reads this and took part in Jumpbrush in any capacity please leave a comment with your thoughts on the event! I'd greatly love to hear what other people experienced and thought about everything!

Again these are all my personal opinion and in no way related to Cal Poly, Jumpbrush or anyone else involved so if you don't like what I wrote tell me directly (below in comments is best)

I LOVE DANCE!

For more info on Jumpbrush see my previous post as well as their:

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