Catching up on... it all

Holy cow where has the last 2 months gone...

Therefore a quick update is in order:

We had our winter concert and it went well
I fell in love with this song...

 

I completed my first semester of Grad school only slightly worse for the wear... but done!

Went to the Sheepherder's ball in Boise, and felt extremely out of place. Most of my friends weren't there or occupied by their new husbands children etc.

I was constantly and pleasantly kidnapped by my brother and Debra.

christmas was a smash (my dinner rolls were awesome)

I made it to SLO after a flight cancellation (that's 2 in a row to slo) and detour through LA.

Ross gave me the most beautiful red kitchen aid mixer.

We took a trip to Pollock Pines to see his parents and San Francisco both were awesome and much needed.

I made him homemade pretzels and focaccia pizza for ross among a lot of cookies and other things

I had the most amazing time in SLO as always and it's always so hard to leave... I hate leaving really


Now I'm back in New York, back in classes, and back to the stress, self doubt, and loneliness I's shrouded in. However I have a plan: I want to draw more and find some sort of inspiration to make a dance I actually like and want to make.

Right now everything I do I feel pushed to do even if I don't like it or want to do it. I can already tell this is going to be a struggle and I need to find some peace and inspiration. Hopefully drawing is the key. I've been trying to do it every day. Hopefully I'll finally find some happiness in Yonkers, because it's just getting harder and harder to live here.

Lastly I had to say goodbye to my childhood dog this week, she was unfortunately very old and sick. But she was the best dog in the world and I know she's in a better place.

At least I have my trip to SLO in march where I will be there for Ross's birthday and then my parents will come down for a few days to visit as well. I can't wait to see the ocean and be in the place I love again with people I love.

Miss Lonely New York pt. 2

Saturday 8-20-11

Power outage from around 5am-7pm... so I simply lounged at home until I was starving and walked to the store for food

Sunday 8-21-11

Stormy all day... So I read my friend Mara Truslow's book Fifteen Fragments. If you want to read an AMAZING, honest, and heart breaking-ly beautiful book look no further. It took me essentially 1 day to read (2 afternoons).

Now I am not much of a cryer in general... but to be perfectly honest it has been a rough first week here in Yonkers. I don't know if it was Hello Dolly that got my hopes up or something else, but it hasn't been all carriages and singing store clerks. I miss my home in San Luis, I miss my boyfriend and my friends. I miss knowing where I'm walking, and what to expect when I get there. I miss the small town vibe where you basically know everyone (and their dog) I MISS COFFEE SHOPS!!!! I miss bookstores and politeness.

I can't explain how stupid I feel somedays for leaving everything I love and know for a place that is cold (in their behavior) and unknown. I'm lonely... I'll be the first to say it! But luckily I have an amazing boyfriend and amazing friends and family that have supported me this week. Especially to "that one guy" in particular who has reminded me that this is where I'm supposed to be and that slo doesn't hold much for me anymore... at least not right now. Who makes me laugh and calms me with the intricacies of the mundane parts of life... and sends cheer up flowers

So starting Monday I made an effort not to cry, and to appreciate what I have coming my way the next 2 years.

Monday 8-21-11

I met my new roommate!!!!! Her name is Emily and she is an incoming grad student in poetry at Sarah Lawrence. She seems really cool and I'm excited for her to totally move in on Friday and to get to know her over the next 2 years.

I also explored the mall about 10 mins from my house (which has an H&M!!!). The mall actually reminds me of the outlets in Paris in many ways. (I miss Paris)

Tusday 8-22-11

more mall exploration, a purchase of a new pillow, the announcement of a new Tom Waits album... all in all a satisfying day

Wednesday 8-23-11

Today: I walked to sarah lawrence and bought 2 books: David Sedaris "When you are engulfed in flames" and "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett. Then I walked to Starbucks where I am now currently drinking the first coffee I've had since I left Boise a week ago. Where I am currently typing these blog posts, and also enjoying some free passion fruit nonsense.

The next few days are going to be super stormy so I can't wait to settle down with these books and some tea. Keep calm until the storm of school takes over next week. To be honest, I'm a little scared of that storm and if I can keep afloat through it.